...start with a goodbye. (Final Part)

(Read Part 1 & Part 2)

He saw the excitement on Maya’s face as he uttered those words. She sprang out of the bench and held his hand. The next thing they knew was they were running from one block to the other not waiting for any of the signals. They both had a hand to hold and that is what mattered during that frenzied run.

She stopped outside an apartment and they were panting like dogs with their tongues sticking out. “More than anything, I think I need to hydrate myself. I must have lost a few pounds!” Ayan said.

She pressed the door bell and keyed in an apartment number. A couple of minutes later they were climbing up the dark staircase.

“What is this place? Looks like a rundown apartment not fit to stay.” Ayan said.

Maya did not respond as it was her first time to that apartment which she had always heard about from her ex-best friend.

They stood out a door listening to the faint sound of the stereo system. Maya looked at Ayan, “Are you ready for this?” she asked.

Ayan’s mind drew a blank. The little liquor that had lingered in his blood that night drained instantly.

“I have to be honest. I have never been here and this is my first time to this party. So don’t blame me if you don’t like it,” she whispered.

“Where are we?”

Before Maya could answer that question, the door opened. A guy in his late 20s opened the door and looked at them.

“I’m Pam’s friend,” Maya said.

The guy looked at Ayan.

“He is with me,” she assured.

The guy opened the door to let them in. A sudden whiff of air pregnant with smell of liquor, smoke, perfumes and colognes hit them. It was overwhelming that they had an instant high just by stepping into the living room. The whole apartment was dimly lit. People were scattered all over. Some standing by the wall, some on the floor, some sprawled over the sofa, some dancing by the stereo and some on the phone. As Maya and Ayan walked coyly into their space, they looked up to see them. A chill ran down Ayan’s spine. He wasn’t feeling comfortable with their stares. He felt alien in that place. As if to have read his mind, Maya held his hand, “It is going to be the best night ever,” she said.

He did not want to believe her. But he did not want to go back either. To his house where nobody would be waiting for him, where he would stare back at a wall that would just remind him of all his failed or wrongly-played relationships, or at the least office work. He tightened his hold of her hand. She looked back at him and looked at him in his eyes for the first time that evening.

“You will be fine,” she said and kissed him on his cheeks to make him comfortable.
They stepped into a room where people lay like zombies in a world of their own. Candles were the only source of light in that room and they couldn’t see other’s faces. Maya sat beside a coffee table and pulled Ayan down. He knelt down and looked at the table. In a jiffy, Maya picked a roll, lit it and smoked. She taught Ayan how to do it. He hesitated for a moment. In half hour he was sitting against the wall with his legs sprawled. He did not recognize if it was Maya or if it was someone else who had her head on his shoulder. He wanted to walk down those dark staircases, to the park, to the bar, to the station, to the train, to his house. But he was already flying. He had a buzz in his head and he knew it was tickling him. He laughed, cried and kissed the stranger beside him. They kissed for a very long time. He thought it was Farrah. He thought it was Maya. He thought he was dead.

“Who is this guy?” Pam asked Maya.

“I met him at the park. Don’t know his name.” Maya said as she was gulping down tequila.

“Make sure you take him when you leave. I can’t clean out people from this apartment not knowing where they come from or supposed to go to,” Pam said.

An hour later, Maya tapped on Ayan’s shoulder. He looked up with his bloodshot eyes.

“Time to go,” she said.

“Where?”

“Home.”

Ayan did not respond. He looked at the coffee table. There was nothing left on the table.

“Drink?” she asked.

He nodded.

“Come let us go and get some drinks.”

He stood up holding the wall and Maya held his hand again. They walked to the kitchen. Ayan looked around to see people making out and still dancing. The music was down as it was after hours at the apartment. There were only few more glasses of tequila left and he was lucky. Maya and Ayan gulped it down like they were fishes starving for water.

Ayan pulled out five dollars from his wallet and gave it to Maya.

“Is that a tip?” she asked.

He realized Maya was not the bartender.

“I’m sorry!” he whispered and laughed at his own silliness.

She pulled the five bucks from him and stuffed it in her pocket.

“I could use that!” she winked at him.

“Where next?” he asked.

“Hang on, let me check if there are more parties happening around this area.” she walked out of the kitchen.

Ayan held the wall and sat down. He closed his eyes and a million things erupted on his mind. A mix of emotions brought him ecstasy and pain. He looked around to see if there was a clock and he didn’t realize he had a watch. He heard the sound of an airplane flying over the building. He immediately stormed out of the house and climbed up the stairs to the terrace. He stood there unsteadily looking at the airplane soar in the sky.

“Fuck you!” he screamed and sat on the floor resting his head on the wall.

“Feels good?” he heard a voice.

He looked up to see Maya. He did not respond. She sat beside him. All the alcohol kept them warm that night. They were silent for a very long time thinking of new moments they wished to have and old memories which they wanted to erase.

“What is it with winter and feeling lonely?” she asked.

“It is like all summer love ends in winter and then you are lonely.”

“Is that a plot? A game?”

“I think love could also be seasonal. Sometimes you have four seasons. Sometimes, if you are lucky, you will have a long summer.”

“You talk better when you are high. I like that.”

“Is this your life?”

She did not look at him. They both were looking at the airplane that was fading into the sky.

“Drugs. Alcohol. Random sex. Lonely nights. Tears.” he said.

“At least I don’t wake up alone.” she smiled.

“Sure. Makes sense. I wake up alone and usually look at the a clock’s face.”

She laughed.

“Get a life!” she said.

“Like yours?”

She did not respond.

“I now recollect that I was kissing someone in that apartment. I don’t even remember her face. Maybe another lonely soul scattered in that room.”

“I know her. She is married to this handsome guy who runs a hotel that specializes in Mediterranean cuisine.”

Ayan did not react.

“Why is she here?” he asked after a while.

“He is also here.”

“I think I should go.”

“You don’t like it here, do you?”

“All these are just momentary. I might hate myself when I wake up tomorrow for being here. Before anything else happens, I will go home.”

She did not respond.

“Aren’t you leaving?” he asked.

“No, I’m going to another party which just started two hours ago.”

“How far is it? Let me walk you till there and then I will take the train.”

They were walking silently down the lane. It was three in the morning.

“Who was on the plane?” Maya asked.

“Farrah.”

“Farrah who?”

“Someone I THOUGHT I was dating, but later realized I was just a stopgap before she moved on from her city to a new one. I spent my time and money on someone who probably didn’t deserve it.”

“Stopgaps. Date for convenience. Love for time pass. Dating two people at the same time. You either get used to them or you stay single.”

“Maybe yes. I’m beginning to believe that, life in this city is all about faking it.”

“Agreed. You can’t fake it only when you are really high. Like you can’t fake it that you are normal when you are drunk.” she laughed.

“You are a pretty girl. You can get into a steady relationship if you are patient,” he said.

“I’ve been patient. I’ve been sensitive and sane. But when life becomes a bitch, you got to be a bitch too to beat it.”

“Just because you have had few disastrous relationships, it doesn’t mean you give up on everything, that includes sanity and ethics.”

“Ethics? My ass!” she laughed, “What are you? Teenager?”

He did not respond.

“You think I’m trashy, don’t you?” she asked. There was anger in her tone.

“No, I don’t.”

“I think it is time for us to say goodbye,” she said looking at the subway station.

“I can walk you to the next party.”

“Are you coming too?”

“No”

“Then you can leave now. I will be fine. It is just a couple of blocks away.”

They hugged and she kissed him on his cheeks.

“You are a nice guy. Just give it some time. Things will fall into place and you deserve a good time,” she said.

“Thank you. You take care too.”

The strangers walked away from each other.

Ayan switched on the light in his apartment and saw how neat it was. He had just walked out of an apartment full of people, smoke, sex, and insanity. He, for a moment, missed the madness. He fell on his bed and closed his eyes. He began to sweat profusely. An old lady in the train asking for a lily, the bouncer closing the door behind Farrah, Maya hugging him that night, Farrah shaking his hands for the first time when they had met, flashes of memories hit his closed eyes and he fell into a trance.

Maya walked into the next party. The living room was no different from the previous party. She got what she had wanted. Weed, liquor and strangers. She danced through the night and then everything went blank in a jiffy.

The day dawned late for Ayan. He woke up by noon and pulled the curtains open, squinting his eyes at the winter sun. He looked like a wreck when he saw the mirror. Few hours later he walked down to grab a burger. He stood at the store waiting for his order, trying to recollect the events of the previous night. He smiled to himself. It was a crazy night, but yet he had his moments. He vividly remembered Maya and their conversations that night.

“Number 48!”

As he walked to the counter to pick his order, he saw a familiar face on the television screen above the counter. He froze.

Two girls had died the previous night of drug overdose. Maya and her ex-best friend, Pam. There was also speculation that it could have been murder. Ayan stood there to gather if they mentioned anything about the stranger who had accompanied Maya that night. There was none. He walked out slowly and later he saw himself running to his apartment. He locked himself in, sat behind the locked door and sweated profusely. His eye reddened and he gasped for breath. He wanted to cry but he couldn’t. Maya was just a stranger yet she left behind something with him. He was unable to move, cry, or emote. Something was transforming within. He had a sudden craving for the trance. He wanted to be back in that apartment full of smoke and madness. He wanted to take Maya away from that place. He wanted to go back to train and give the lily to the old lady. He wanted to rush back to the closed door at the bar. He wanted to do a million things that moment but he sat there like he was dead. He probably will go back to that apartment. He wanted to feel the high again. The smoke and the strangers. For all the madness. For Maya.

The End